I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
