Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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