His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
