I just cut my nipple shaving
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
