Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Is it penis luge time yet?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize