I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
