Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
