get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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