he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
