So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
no, he came in my armpit
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
