i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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