just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
