I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
please come you make the beer taste better
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize