There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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