people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
