3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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