well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
