I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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