I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My pussy is not your playground.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
