just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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