What a fucking waste of an outfit
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
