I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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