I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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