Kiss
Puke
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
