Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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