you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
