Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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