At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
