And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
