i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
