Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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