My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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