Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
