I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Even the bartender felt bad for me
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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