Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
