Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
