do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
