Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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