If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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