She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize