I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
