? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
