found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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