This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
