"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize