if only i could text you this smell
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize