what day is it and did you see me today?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
