I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
