Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
