ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
