I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize