Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
