So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize