hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
