they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize