gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
