wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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