When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
