ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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