Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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