I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
