did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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