About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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