btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
