Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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