not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
