You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
