In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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