Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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