Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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