he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
