I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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