I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
