what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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