I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
