Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
